We've gotten better at planning Christmas around the inevitable invasion of bacterial infections. The key is to let your guard down early.

If you have young children, and you don't like spending Christmas Eve in a 24-hour emergency clinic, de-emphasize hand washing and vitamin intake somewhere around the 6th of December.

This will enable your young ones to be among the first incubators of holiday classroom germs. By the time mom and dad are infected, there should still be time for a round of antibiotics before Christmas.

My wife, Sharon, has spent three of the last six Christmas Eves waiting to see the unfortunate doctor who pulled holiday duty at the all-night clinic.

On two of those nights before Christmas, it was the same twin daughter being treated for the same infection in the same ear.

We started to think maybe it was her way of getting back at us for naming her Noel.

This year, we have achieved a new record for pre-holiday sickness.

The other twin, Julia, contracted a stomach virus when the countdown to Christmas was at 10 days.

Our oldest, Carly Grace, spent the next two days fighting fever and a nasty cough.

On the next day, it was Sharon's turn with the stomach virus, and I spent the day after that in bed with Carly's fever and nasty cough.

Fever has a way of bringing out the cowardly lion in me. Keeping a stiff upper lip in the throes of teeth-chattering chills and head-splitting nausea is not in my genetic makeup.

While I was moaning and groaning, Sharon pointed out that our 6-year-old never let out so much as a whimper during her 48 hours of fever.

Later that night, Sharon went out for cough syrup and tripped over a sleeping dog on the way back into the house. An X-ray might be necessary to rule out a broken collarbone.

As she lay moaning, groaning and whimpering, I had to repeat assurances that my decision to turn off the back-porch light had nothing to do with her earlier insensitivity to my low threshold for pain.

With the countdown at four days, Carly Grace and I got Zithromax Z-paks for Christmas from our respective doctors.

Recognizing that I was near to hacking my head off, my physician gave me some added holiday cheer by prescribing that golden brew of cough suppressant laced with codeine. Some call it "happy honey."

With all of us adequately medicated, it's likely Santa Claus will have no reservations about consuming the milk and cookies left out for him at our house.

Ironically, our first Noel, spoiler of Christmas Eves past, is the only family member to experience a disease-free December.

Call it a Christmas Miracle.

Mark Rutledge can be contacted a mrutledge@coxnc.com